Without You
by Meiko M
Summary: The sorrow, overflowing through the words in the song of my heart, seizes me with pain as I dance this endless waltz of life. Forever I am dreaming of a time that I will no longer be without you... Pairings: major focus on KuramaBotan, some YusukeKeiko.
1. Dreaming

Botan/Kurama fiction! Wow… it's been so long since I've typed one of these. I hope you all shall enjoy it. It should be better then my other ones were, because I believe that I have grown better as an author, but well, you'll just have to tell me what you think in a review.

To understand the mentality and mind-set of this fiction, I must enlighten you all with a bit of background information. Sweatdrops Long sentence, I know, but just go along with me and read this: Botan (although actually quite old) is 19 in maturity and mentality, Kurama (yet again though actually quite old in his Youko form) is almost 20…. Which makes him also 19 .;;. He lives on his own in his own apartment, and Botan lives, well, in Reikai most of the time…

So without further ado, here's Without You!

Disclaimer: Although I have every intention to, I do not, in any way, own or possess Yu Yu Hakusho. If I did I would not be wasting my time with disclaimers!

Without you

Chapter one: Dreaming

_The crimson-stained sun rises and sets,_

_And still we continue to walk on._

_Though I am with others,_

_I shall remain in sadness. _

_The sorrow, overflowing through the words in the song of my heart,_

_Seizes me with pain as I dance this endless waltz of life._

_Forever I am dreaming of a time that I will no longer be without you._

_thoughts _

**world/place/time**

"**talking"**

Reikai

Botan walked out into the crisp morning air. She loved this time of day. But what she loved most was right before this time, during twilight. It was beautiful; the light, soft velvety violet mixing with the pale pink. Sometimes it was so beautiful, she could just forget all of her worries and problems

she would have at the moment…

But she couldn't focus on how beautiful the morning was at the moment, Koenma had woken her up very early with a job. She sighed… Someone had been out late drinking sake _again_, and, well the rest is a given. _What is so wrong with Ningenkai that so many people are wanting to drown themselves in alcohol for? _She wondered. "Well it's not as if Reikai doesn't have it's share of drunkards as well though…" She thought out loud.

The job didn't bug her. She was just a bit irritated, however, because he had interrupted a dream…

She paused for a moment, looking down. It was the same one she had been having for quite a while. She was in a big room. It had marble floors and a glass ceiling that you could see the sky through. The doors were all made of a cherry colored wood, and had intricately engraved roses and other various plants and animals. She could hear someone playing the piano in the background while someone played the violin, and another person walked up in front of her. Placing their hands in hers, they started dancing. Throughout the whole dream sequence, Botan could not see who her dancing partner was.

Still, it was not this part that bothered her. It was the empty feeling that came after the dream. It was strange that she could not see who was with her, but if she was telling the complete truth, it did not bother her. Whoever it was, was warm and comforting. So much that in fact she didn't think to ever look up.

This time, though, when the song finished, she looked up. She was about to see whose face it was when…

Koenma woke her up with the mission.

She sighed. _Isn't this what people like Ayame stay up late for? Oh well… she deserves a break. She always works so late and never gets any sleep. But still, it would have been a nice way to end that dream… _Botan yawned and summoned her oar. She smiled a gentle smile, knowing that the feeling would go away eventually. Lightly sliding onto the enchanted device, she floated upwards and into the sky, letting the wind caress her fair skin.

**_Ningenkai_**

Kurama sat up in bed with a start. Panting, he lay back down briefly and put a hand to his rapidly beating heart. He had seen her this time… Or at least he thought he did, in his dream. He had been having this dream a lot lately…

It starts out where he's walking into a huge room, with marble halls. Someone he knows plays something unknown yet vaguely familiar on the piano, with another person on the violin, and there's a girl in front of him. He sees her, but for some reason also does at the same time not see her… He knows she's there but doesn't look at her, and for some reason has no intention to. Just being in her presence seemed to satisfy him enough. They begin to dance, and her hands, her movements, everything about her seems very familiar. _But why?_ He asked himself.

Usually the dream doesn't end, he just wakes up in the middle of the dance. But this time was different, this time, when the dance ended, he looked down, and just before he could see her… He woke up.

He sighed as he looked down at himself. He was damp from sweating and this made his clothes very uncomfortable as they clung to his body. Getting up and changing into different night attire, he sighed once again as he let his mind wander. _Why is it that I'm never able to look upon this girl's face?_ It was very strange and bothered him immensely. When he wasn't busy with this or that, he would let his thoughts travel to whatever they wanted to. Usually it was that dream or that girl. …With that came an empty feeling that would follow with those thoughts.

Pulling his shirt over his head, he pulled back the covers of his bed and gently sat back down. He lay down, and closed his eyes, pushing whatever thoughts of the dream or the girl he had in his mind away. After a few failed attempts, he gave up and stared at the ceiling. _I will never sleep normally or comfortably until I find out what I desire to know… _He thought about what he could remember about the girl in the dream.

_Hmm… she had relatively small hands and a small waist, delicate but strong. She danced very well… _He raised his hand to his mouth in contemplation he remembered a certain aspect. "She smelled of sakura blossoms and rain.."

_Who do I know with that scent?..._ He sighed once more. His couldn't think anymore. He was to tired for things like this. He looked over at the clock and grunted exhaustedly. 6:18 AM… he would get at least two more hours of sleep then work the problem out.

_**Akigawa-shi, Tokyo-ko (city of Tokyo)**_

Botan sighed as she approached the loud wailing of the ambulance. Looking down, she saw the drunkard, confused. "Huh…I knew I shoulda stopped my drinkin but I can't help it…" He said to himself. Botan lowered her oar so she was just a few feet away from him.

"Bingo! You got that one right, but you didn't stop drinking, did you." She said, her tiredness melting into her perky, cheerful self. The guy turned around to face her. "Who a' you?" He asked, surprised.

"My name's Botan, and I'm hear to take you to Reikai, the spirit realm. I'm what you would call in your world, the "grim reaper"." She said, smiling kindly at him.

"Huh! So ya mean I'm goin.. I'm goin to-" The man started.

"No, no, no, silly, I'm just going to take you to be judged." Botan said with a giggle. She opened her information book, and learned the man's name was Takahari Mawai.

"Oh good!" Mawai said, sighing in relief.

Botan smiled. "Well, are you ready to depart?" She asked softly.

Mawai looked down as paramedics tried to pump life back into his lifeless body. "Yeah, I didn't like this life a ton anyway." He said, in a relieved sort of tone.

Botan's demeanor softened a bit more as her smile faded a bit. "Are you sure? You will not be able to see this world any longer once you are truly gone from it." She said, in a tone laced with sorrow.

Mawai looked back at her and nodded, a smile appearing on his face. "Yep. I have regrets but its fine. Lets go!" He said, with a firm nod.

"Okay, well hold on tight to my oar then." Botan said with a laugh as she took off into the sky, a very shocked Mawai holding onto the oar behind her.

an hour later

Botan flew back to Ningenkai and landed softly on a field. She walked over to a bench, slowly, and sadly.

…She hated her job.

She hated what she was meant for, what she had to do. True, she did it without complaint and managed to work up enthusiasm every time that she did have to ferry a soul to Reikai, but the job was in general a very sad job. People often cried, or worse, were in shock. They would refuse to believe what had happened to them and would become indifferent. There were times that she got lucky, and had someone who was okay with moving on, like Mawai, but those were few and spread out.

She smiled, and laughed and acted bubble, like she would on any other normal occasion, but not without reasons. She did it so that they, the people she was ferrying, would become happier. That's what attracted her to Koenma, and the duty of being the chief pilot of the river Styx. Her natural demeanor WAS happy and bubbly, but she would make sure that no matter what mood she was in at the moment, that she was always like this during a job.

_They deserve it…_ She thought with a small, sad, soft frown. _They should be able to be happy, and feel satisfied with what they lived… and that's why I smile._ She smiled in hopes that it would help to make them more happy. For all the pain that humans have to bear with in their lives, even though a lot of it is inflicted by themselves, they should be able to smile.

Botan was so wrapped in her thoughts, she didn't notice as Kurama approached.

Kurama sighed mentally. He hadn't been able to get in much more then one hour of sleep in. The dream was just bugging him to badly! When he finally fell asleep, he could feel the women's hands in his and her scent was everywhere. He had had enough, got up, changed, and decided to go for a walk around the park.

Walking quietly in contemplation, he tried to get his mind off of the dream. What was with this dream? Nothing had nagged him this much since…. Well, since a very long time ago. He pondered over what that could mean.

_Is this an admonition or a indication of events to come? Or is this dream merely just a dream? I do not understand…_ He was interrupted from his thoughts as he felt a familiar aura. He looked up to see Botan a bit further down the path sitting on a bench, looking down in sadness.

_Botan? What is she doing here? Did she finish with a job? Why does she look sad?_..

He shook his head to clear his mind as he walked up to the bench. He noticed that she was not aware he was standing right in front of her yet. _She must be in deep thought…_ He observed.

Sitting down next to her, he placed a hand gently on her shoulder. "Botan?"

"Aah!" Botan jumped at the unexpected voice. Calming down she noticed it was Kurama and regained her composure.

Kurama's usually solemn features filled with worry. "Are you okay? I'm sorry, I hadn't meant to startle you like that." Botan breathed out and put up her usual perky smile. She didn't want Kurama to know she was upset.

"Oh! Yes I'm fine, I'm sorry I didn't notice you,… I guess I was zoning out." She said.

Kurama became concerned when she put up her mask. Now he knew something was wrong. He didn't know if anyone else caught it-if they did then he couldn't tell, but he knew when Botan's smile was real or not. She often put up a "happy mask" to let others think she was happy, but when she thought no one else was looking, it would slip and her face would fill with sorrow.

He sighed mentally, yet again. "Botan… is everything okay?" He asked again.

Botan's smile dulled a bit. She knew he wasn't asking about the welfare of her health that time. But she didn't want to tell him… She would feel bad if she dumped her worries on someone else.

"I'm fine. But enough about me, what are you doing out her so early?" She asked, he smile slowly starting to turn into a real one.

That's the effect Kurama had on her. For some reason, whenever he was around, she just… felt like she was on cloud nine. He made her smile, and not just the fake kind. When she would see him, especially when he was happy, it'd make her happy. When he said hello to her, she'd feel like she was floating, because she would know that for a brief instant, that she had crossed his mind…

_Whoa! Where are these thoughts coming from? _Botan asked herself as she shook her head. _Baka Botan! _She berated herself, _Kurama is just your friend! Nothing else! _

But somewhere, a small voice said smugly in the back of her mind, unnoticed, _Are you so sure about that?_

"I just decided to go for a walk." Kurama said lightly, avoiding the subject of **why** he was out walking so early. He wasn't going to dump his problems on Botan, she had enough to worry about. "Why are you out so early?" He asked, turning the tables.

Botan looked down sadly, her mask slipping for a brief instant. "I had to ferry another soul to Reikai." She said, softly. Kurama's eyes softened.

…For some reason, he didn't know what to say. He just placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. He wanted to ask what the cause of death was, but didn't think it was his place to be asking.

"…A drunk driver." Botan said, slowly with melancholy. Kurama blinked. It seemed she'd tell him on her own.

"I don't know what it is… but for some reason there's something so wrong with this world that makes people want to go drown themselves in alcohol. Some people are idiots… but… why would you just.." she cleared her throat as it started to dim a bit. "..why would you want to throw away your life? What can be so horrible that it makes it worth it just… to leave?"

What was she doing? _I thought you weren't going to trouble Kurama with your problems!_ She yelled at herself mentally. But… he made her so comfortable…. And he seemed to understand more then anyone else did…

"The man that I had to take to Reikai today seemed so ready… I wasn't upset at that, because it is actually nice when people don't have any regrets about their lives, but for some reason that… isn't right… He wasn't sad about leaving the ones he loved…" She lapsed into silence, he head hanging.

Kurama looked down, in sadness and in a quiet rage. Why was Botan the one who had to deal with this? It didn't seem fair. Of course, she was the captain of the river Styx, but… didn't she deserve to be happy too? He stopped himself. _Since when did you care so much about Botan?_ He asked himself.

Pausing and wondering, another question came to his mind. _Since when did I not care about Botan?_... Yes, she was his friend, but, for some reason, when he thought of her as just a friend, it didn't fit. She was more special to him as more then just a friend… but… how?

Looking over at the cerulean-haired deity, his thoughts were once again interrupted as he saw her amethyst orbs fill up with silver tears. His mind went totally blank as he saw one of silver tears escape her eyes.

Botan yelled at herself in her mind. _Stop crying in front of Kurama you idiot!.. he's… going to get… upset…_ But the voice faded away. She couldn't stop it. The build up of so many years… decades upon centuries of their screaming, their non-caring, their blaming… the walls came crashing down with a violent noise, and the tears escaped her soul's confinement.

Wrapping his arms around her, Kurama held her in a gentle embrace. He didn't know what he was doing, nor did he care. All that he saw was that Botan, his friend, someone he cared about, was crying. He hated to see her cry… because it hurt her.

Botan blushed as she felt Kurama's arms encircling her lithe form. "Shh, it's okay… I'm here…" He whispered.

Botan's eyes closed as more tears started to fall out. She wrapped her arms around Kurama and cried into his chest. She didn't care anymore. It felt a little bit good to let it out. To many years of build up put a lot of stress on the poor deity.

After a while, the tears stopped, and Botan just laid her head against Kurama's chest encircled by his strong but gentle arms. Realizing what she was doing, she suddenly sat up, her arms leaving him as he let his arms fall to his sides.

She sniffed. "I'm… sorry…" She said, regaining her composure, embarrassed and blushing. How could she let herself let go like that? In front of Kurama no less!

Kurama smiled gently. "No, Botan, don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"But…crying.."

"Is a sign of strength. That means you have emotions."

"Well, I'm sorry for crying on your shoulder…You're drenched now because of me. " She said, looking away.

"No, don't be sorry. I want you to come to me when you're sad. You can always come to me for a shoulder to cry on." He said, placing an arm around her back. Botan smiled. "Thank-you." She said softly, locking his eyes for a moment.

Kurama smiled softly and looked at his watch. 7:45… it seemed later then that. Looking at the blushing deity, he got an idea.

"Botan?"

"Yes?"

"Would you like to come have breakfast with me? I'm assuming you haven't eaten yet."

Botan smiled. "I'd love to, and your assumption was correct." She said, giggling.

Kurama's smile widened. "Well then, lets go." He said, standing up.

Botan stood up, her smile no longer fake at all. Walking to the restaurant Kurama was taking them, they talked a bit about this and that, nothing really particular. Just happy to be in each other's company.

**_Chapter One End_**

…Wow. Yes, I am quite aware of the corny-ness of the end of that chapter. Sweatdrops I guess I was just to excited that I had finally completed the first chapter of this story. So, send me a review please and I'll update as soon as I can-

_-Meiko_


	2. Singing Solace

I'm back with a new chapter of Without You! But first, before I get into that, I have to say a few things. One, I forgot to mention something that will be VERY vital to this chapter. Well, in a way. Botan had changed into normal jeans and a shirt after her mission, so she has NOT been in her pink kimono this entire time. Two, I got some very nice reviews! (sniffs) I was seriously about to cry when I read some of them! So, I want to respond and answer them!

Heartluv: I'm glad that you liked my first chapter! I'm also glad that you liked the dream, that's a major part of this fanfiction and it will be a recurring motif as well. Thank-you for your nice compliments!

Keyiotuo: Heh, yes, first one to review! (grins) Thank-you so much for your nice and kind words/compliments! I think my ego is about to explode! I'm VERY happy that you like the story, and I highly agree with you, Botan and Kurama pairings are the best! And heh,(blushes) thank-you for the last compliment. I'm only one-fifth Japanese on my dad's side, and they decided to give me my name because it's Japanese. I don't like it very much, but thank-you for thinking it's pretty!

Crimson Breeze: I'm pleased to know that you think it was sweet, that's what I was going for (winks). Thank-you for your very kind words! I'm glad that you found the fiction interesting! I'm also very glad your looking forward to reading more!

Punnamechibi: Thank-you for liking this story! And believe me, I agree whole-heartedly with you; a fiction is not complete without romance. Heck, I won't even read a fanfiction if it doesn't have a little bit of romance! Well, make that a LOT of romance, but anyhow.. Thank-you once again for your kind words!

Okay, and that sums up my reviews! So now, I don't have much else to say, so, on with the story!

Disclaimer: …Oh. I almost forgot about this. (sulks) I do not own or intend to steal Yu Yu Hakusho. Nor do I own Miyazaki's Spirited Away, which I also do not intend to steal. (sighs) Now on with the story!

Without You

Chapter two: Singing Solace

_Your voice I long to hear sounds._

_Spring, a spring I still cannot see..._

Botan smiled as she took a sip of her orange juice. She was still embarrassed about showing her tears to Kurama, but it felt a lot better now that she had gotten if off of her chest. Keeping the sorrow to herself and hiding it from everyone had been weighing on her soul.

Looking up at Kurama she caught his eyes and looked down quickly, blushing a light sakura pink. Kurama raised his cup of tea to his mouth and smiled. He knew she was still embarrassed but it was a bit funny, (and cute, somewhere inside of him added), the way she was reacting to him. Still, he didn't want her to think he was laughing at her, par the reason for smiling into the cup of tea.

"So, what are you doing today, Botan?" Kurama asked, inwardly wincing at how idiotic and unoriginal what he said just was. _I have been spending to much time with Yusuke…_ He thought, shaking his head mentally.

Botan looked up at him with a thoughtful look. "Hm.. well I don't think I have anything else to do at the moment. I may get a call from Koenma later, but besides that, I don't believe I am doing anything else." She said, smiling.

Kurama smiled across from her. "Would you like to see a movie with me, then? I was planning on going to see a movie that just came out. I've been waiting for it for a while, and it'd be nice if I had someone to come with me."

Botan's face brightened at the idea and her smile grew. "I'd love to! But.. are you sure you want me to come? Wouldn't you rather have Hiei, Yusuke or Kuwabara go with you instead?" She asked.

"Hiei would insult everything the people in the movie did, Yusuke is to loud, and Kuwabara would probably be snoring throughout the duration of the film." Kurama put bluntly.

Botan giggled. She could actually agree on that one. They had all gone to a movie together at one point, and what Kurama said was relatively true to what had happened.

"But are you sure that you want me to go?"

Kurama looked at her inquisitively. "Well, yes, I do, but if you don't want to come it's fine, although like I said, I'd like you to." He said with a slight shrug.

Botan beamed inwardly. Something about the aspect that Kurama wanted her to go with him made her happy for some reason. "No, I mean, yes, I'd love to go with you but-"

"-then it's settled." Kurama finished, calling a waitress over for the bill, smiling.

Botan blinked, and then smiled. "Okay then! What movie is it?" She asked.

"It's a drama with romance and comedy tied into it, called "Shinjitsu no Yuki", Snow of Truth." Kurama said, pondering what it was really about. "I'm not sure other then that, but I read the book that comes before it and it was quite good."

Botan smiled. "Okay, that sounds fun then."

Kurama smiled in return as they got up to leave. "Well would you like to come to my house first? I need to get a few things and tell my mother."

Botan blushed, and then brushed it away. "Sure. Let's go." She said as they headed out the door of the restaurant.

**Kurama's house**

Kurama and Botan stepped through the door after removing their shoes.

"Okaasan? I'm back." He called, looking in the kitchen for his mother.

"Oh! Suichi! Perfect timing! I have a sudden call from the office to go in, my boss lost his papers and he needs me to re-type them all, unfortunately. Oh, I see you brought a friend!" She said, smiling.

Kurama smiled. "This is Botan, Botan, this is my mother, Shiori." He said, formally introducing them to each other.

"Nice to meet you Ms. Botan, it's great that Suichi has a friend over for a change." Turning to Kurama, she placed a hand on his shoulder. "I need you to baby-sit Shuichi for me for today, is that okay?" She asked.

"Kaasan! I told you! I don't need to be baby-sat! I'm big enough!" Six-year old Shuichi called. Shiori sighed and shook her head.

Kurama's smile faltered. "Well, we were planning on—"

"Baby-sitting Shuichi would be wonderful! Suichi and I would love to!" Botan cut in, smiling her usual bubbly smile. Kurama turned to her, his mouth slightly open.

"Great! Suichi, you're friends are all so nice. Thank-you, you both." She said, before giving both her sons a kiss on the cheek and running out.

"Sayounara, Botan-san, it was nice meeting you!" Shiori called.

"You too Shiori-san, have a nice time." Botan replied, smiling.

"Arigatou, dewa mata!" (translation: Thanks, see you later!) Shiori called, walking out the door.

Kurama turned to Botan. "Are you sure about this? You don't have to stay here and help baby-sit." He said, although in the back of his mind he hoped that she would for some reason stay.

Botan smiled her bubbly smile. "Yes, it's fine. And I want to… that is, if you won't mind."

"No, I'd love you to, but do you really want to?" He asked.

"Yes, of course! I love little kids!" She said in a perky tone.

"Then you don't care that Sujiro-kun is here to, right?" Shuichi said, his friend coming around the corner.

Botan and Kurama stared at the smiling duo, both of them sweatdropping.

"Um, no, it's fine…" Botan said, still keeping up her perky attitude.

"Good! We wanna play a game now!" Shuichi said, getting a burst of hyperness.

_Uh-oh…_Kurama thought. _He's hyper… and I've seen him hyper before…_

"Ya! Ya! A game! A game!" Sujiro said, joining in.

Kurama sighed. "Okay, what kind of a game?" He asked, not wanting to know the answer.

"Twister!" Shuichi shouted.

"Ya! Twister! Twister!" Sujiro joined in.

Botan's face blushed about three shades of red as her mouth hung slightly open. "Um, how about another game? Like, Checkers?" She suggested.

Kurama looked over at Botan. He saw that she wasn't very comfortable with the idea of playing Twister, and he didn't blame her. He was slightly uncomfortable with that game as well. "Yes, how about a different game?" He asked.

"No! We want to play Twister!" Shuichi shouted.

"We wanna play Twister or else!" Sujiro said.

Botan's smile twitched. "..okay…then…" She said hesitantly. _…I didn't know babysitting would be this… interesting…_

"Okay! We'll go get the game, you both stay down here!" Shuichi said, zooming up the stairs and getting the game.

Kurama looked over to see Botan with a deep-red blush on her face. _Maybe I should ask her if she wants to be the spinner…_He mused. _It'd probably be more comfortable for her. _

A few seconds later, the phone rang. "I'll get it." Kurama said, walking over to pick up the phone that lay on the coffee table a few feet away.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Suichi?" Shiori's voice came.

"Yes mother?" Kurama replied.

"I forgot to warn you about something. Shuichi has a friend over, Sujiro."

"We… have discovered that." He replied, pausing.

"Well, that and they both have had ice-cream, so they may need to be calmed down a little bit.." She trailed off.

"…."_ Well, that explains a lot. _Kurama thought with a sweat drop.

"Suichi-chan?"

"I've got it mother, thanks for the warning."

"Your welcome. I'll talk to you both later. Have fun!" Shiori said, then hung up.

Kurama sighed setting down the phone.

"What was that about?" Botan asked.

Kurama looked over at her and smiled a slightly grim smile. "Well, it appears that they have had ice-cream." He said, holding back from twitching. _I wish she would have warned us sooner… But it's a good thing she did not forget to. _Botan looked at him, stunned.

Kurama sighed again, then turned to Botan with a small smile. "Botan? Would you like to be the spinner?" He asked, then mentally kicking himself for how that came out.

Botan blinked. Then realizing what he meant smiled with a small blush. "Yes, that would be nice. Thank-you." Kurama nodded with a smile of his own.

Shuichi and Sujiro came running down the stairs at top speed moments later, Shuichi holding the spinner and Sujiro holding the fold out mat. "Let's play, let's play, let's play!" They shouted, dancing around the now sweat dropping Botan and Kurama.

"Okay, well can I be spinner?" Botan asked, reaching for the spinner in Shuichi's small hands.

"NO! I WANNA BE THE SPINNER!" Shuichi shouted at her, holding the spinner tighter in his arms. Botan's smile twitched a bit. _…Oh….great…Koenma-sama…you're punishing me for yelling at you this morning… aren't you…_ Botan thought with a fake smile now plastered to her face.

"Shuichi…" Kurama warned.

Shuichi looked to his big brother for a second, as if thinking over it. _Give the Botan lady the spinner… or get big brother mad….If I get Suichi mad, I might hafta go to my room. But.. If I give the spinner to the Botan lady, then I won't get to be spinner though! _(a six-year olds logic, ne?)

"NO! I WANNA BE THE SPINNER AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO!" Shuichi shouted at the top of his lungs, then started to run around screaming 'I WANNA BE THE SPINNER!'

"Okay, it's all right, you can be the spinner.." Botan said, trying her best to placate the little kid.

"HA! I win!" Shuichi said, then started to help Sujiro unfold the mat.

Kurama raised an eyebrow at Botan. Botan gave him a small smile and then turned her attention to the kids who had finished with the mat.

"Okay! Botan lady, you get to go on that side!" Shuichi said, pointing to the side that had the green dots closest. "Suichi, you go on that side!" He said, pointing to the side adjacent to Botan. "And Sujiro, you go to that spot!" Shuichi said, pointing to the sides that had the red spots.

After Botan, Kurama, and Sujiro had taken their positions, Shuichi started issuing out orders. After a few minutes, Botan was tangled into Kurama who was tangled in turn into Sujiro.

"Botan lady, your turn! Right hand blue!" Shuichi said, grinning.

Botan looked over and sweatdropped. "Um, Shuichi-chan,.. I don't think I can do that." She said, hesitantly. "Yeah-hah, or else your gonna lose!" He said, getting mad. "But-" "Your gonna lose!" Shuichi interrupted.

Botan looked at the spot where she was supposed to move. If she moved there… she thought over the consequences. _Oh well… I guess I have to.. _Botan thought, grinning nervously. She reached out with her right hand, but when she did—

"Aah!" Botan said, losing her balance and toppling over, falling onto Kurama, who fell onto Sujiro.

"OW!" Cried Sujiro, getting trampled by both of the people.

"Ugh…" Botan sat up. _I guess I lose anyway._ She thought, and started laughing. "I'm sorry you guys, I lost my balance." She, said, rubbing her head gingerly. She looked up to see a laughing Kurama.

"No, that's fine, it was amusing, you knew you couldn't reach that spot!" He said, chuckling. He hadn't played Twister in a long time, and, well, it was quite fun. Botan, however, he noticed, seemed to take that offensively.

"I couldn't help it! It's either all or nothing!" She said defensively.

"All or nothing?" He asked, amused.

"You know what I mean! Would it have been better if I had just given up instead of tried!" She yelled.

Kurama started chuckling again. "No, Botan, what you did was good. It was just humorous." He said, after a second regaining his composure.

Botan's frown turned into a smile as she giggled lightly in turn. "I guess it was." She said, before smiling at him.

Kurama and Botan turned to see in time as Shuichi and Sujiro put the mat away and started bouncing around again.

"We wanna go to the park!" They demanded.

"Ugh!" Botan exclaimed, and slumped over, Kurama holding himself back from doing the same.

**-Seven hours later—**

Botan walked in after Shuichi and Sujiro, Kurama coming in after her.

"Now we wanna watch a movie!" They both yelled.

Botan twitched. "You two are tireless!" She said. "We went to the park, and then to the library, got kicked out of the library for you both being to loud, went to the petting zoo, the art studio, the shrine, back to the park, and then home and you still have energy!" She asked, sinking to her knees.

Kurama smiled lightly. She had definitely had change in emotions from how she was that morning. Not that he was upset; on the contrary, he was happy to see her having fun. _Well, not necessarily having fun, but…_

"Which movie?" Botan asked, giving in to their demands of a movie and popcorn.

Shuichi and Sujiro talked to each other, deciding which movie they wanted to see. When they had an answer they looked up to Botan, grinning. "Spirited Away!" They said in unison.

"Spirited Away?" Botan asked, surprised that she knew which movie they named and even had seen it before. "Yeah! Totally! That Haku is cool! Especially when he's a dragon!" Sujiro said.

"Okay then, Spirited Away it is." Botan said, getting the movie and putting it into the VCR. When the movie started playing, she walked into the kitchen to make them popcorn.

She sweatdropped when she got in the kitchen. _Oh… wait… I don't know where the popcorn is.._ "Um, Kurama?" She called.

"I'm right behind you." Kurama said, smiling. Botan turned around and smiled. "Oh, heh, sorry. Do you have popcorn?" She asked. Kurama nodded and got it out of one of the cabinets.

"You can go and watch the movie, I'll make the popcorn." Kurama said, smiling.

Botan smiled back. "No, that's okay, I've seen it plenty of times already. Koenma seems to like that movie quite a bit." She said, reaching past Kurama to get a bowl. As she did, she brushed against his shoulder. Her eyes widened as the dream (see previous chapter) suddenly came into her head. The dancing… the man's shoulder her hand was on… She shook her head to clear her thoughts.

_Why is this suddenly coming back to me now?_ She asked herself. She looked up to see Kurama's eyes locked with hers. Her hands- one now holding a bowl –fell back to her sides. She smiled and busied herself with the popcorn.

Kurama blinked and realized he had been staring into Botan's eyes when he zoned out, thinking about the dream when Botan's hand brushed his shoulder. _Why am I thinking of the dream **now?**_ He thought.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and helped Botan with the popcorn. When everything was made, they took it into the living room where Shuichi and Sujiro were staring, transfixed with the television.

Putting the popcorn down, Botan smiled at the two and sat down next to Kurama. _Why does it feel so warm… and right, sitting next to him?_ She asked herself, realizing that she did feel warm and… safe sitting next to Kurama. It wasn't that she felt intimidated or threatened when she wasn't next to him, it was just… that she felt like he would protect her and keep her safe from any harm. She smiled as she leaned lightly on Kurama. Well, whatever it was, she'd figure it out soon.

Kurama blushed lightly as Botan leaned against him. She wasn't completely leaning all of her weight onto him, she was just very softly and lightly leaning on his shoulder, but that was enough to make him blush.

_Why is it that it feels so perfect with her next to me? Why do I feel so… protective… and caring for her?_ He still didn't understand what it was about Botan that drew out that part of him. He closed his eyes for a second. _Whenever I am around her… everything that has been bugging me just…melts away. I feel that I can trust her.. and whenever I talk to her, or am around her, I get excited… and… there's something else… what is it?..._He thought over it. Then, in a moment, he sat up straight, his eyes flying open. He knew what it was. _…I love her…_ He smiled, relaxing again.

Botan, noticing that Kurama had sat up straight, looked over at him, worried. "Kurama? Are you all right?" She asked. Kurama smiled at her warmly. "Yes, I'm all right Botan, that was just an abrupt scene in the movie."

Botan smiled and nodded. "I agree, it was a startling scene."

**About one and a half hours later**

After the movie was over, Shuichi and Sujiro both yawned. Botan giggled to herself. "I guess it's time for you both to go to bed." She said, smiling, and turning the television off.

"No! We don't wanna go to bed!" Sujiro said, standing up getting angry.

Botan sighed. "But it's so late! It's 9:35!"

"It's way passed both of your bedtimes as well." Kurama said, coming in. "You both were supposed to be in bed an hour ago."

Shuichi stood up. "Fine! We'll go to bed only if we get a lullaby!" He demanded.

Kurama visibly twitched. "I am not singing." With a final tone.

"No! We want the Botan lady to sing!" Sujiro exclaimed. It was now Botan's turn to twitch. "Um…"

Kurama raised an eyebrow at Botan. He had never heard her sing before. She sighed. "Well, do you both promise you'll go to sleep if I do?" She asked, not really wanting to sing, but having no choice deciding it was the best thing to do, if it would get the two hyperactive children to sleep.

"Yes we promise!" They said in unison.

"Okay, well let's get you two in bed first." Botan said.

**A couple minutes later**

Botan sighed and began to sing.

"A fleeting light stands still in a rain shower

Precious dampness of yesterday's traces

Form from the buds of my overflowing tears

One by one they begin to give off their fragrance," She paused and looked at the two children, who were looking up at her, transfixed. She didn't know that Kurama was right outside the door of their bedroom, listening.

"It is, it is beyond the sky

Before long, before long it will come to meet me

The spring, the still far-off spring.

If I close my eyes there you are,

the one who gives me love.

Your voice I long to hear rings out."

"My heart, which I gave to you

is waiting for a reply even now

No matter how long it takes for the day to come

I'll wait, I'll wait no matter what

It is, it is beyond tomorrow

Someday, someday, it will reach me"

Kurama stared at the Botan. _She… has such a beautiful voice…._

"The spring, a spring I still haven't seen.

When I come to a stop in hesitation,

Your gaze, the gaze from the one who gives me dreams,

embraces my shoulders

Dreams, they are shallow dreams,

I am here while thinking of you, I'm walking along alone

Like the flowing rains. Like the flowing flowers.."

Kurama walked into the room at this point, and sat down beside Botan, who smiled and continued singing.

"The spring is a spring we still cannot see.

When I come to a stop in hesitation,

The gaze of you, the one who gives me dreams,

embraces my shoulders

The spring is still a far-off spring,

If I close my eyes, There you are,

the one who gives me love.

Your voice I long to hear sounds.

Spring, a spring I still cannot see..."

She stopped singing and looked to see the two kids fast asleep. Kurama stared at Botan, his mouth slightly agape. She just smiled, blushed and looked down.

Finding his voice, he looked at Botan. "What song was that?" He asked still slightly transfixed by her voice. "Haru yo koi, or Spring of my love". She said, smiling.

"Botan…."Kurama began.

Botan blinked and looked up at him. "Yes?.."

**Chapter Two end**

Aren't I evil? (grins evilly) Well don't worry, I plan on updating as soon as I can, hopefully by the next two days, so don't worry! Just send me a review telling me what you think and I'll update as soon as I can! So, ya, please review! (smiles)

_Meiko_


	3. Realizing The Unknown

(Smiles and waves) Hello again! It's me Meiko, back for a new chapter of Without You! (pales) Sorry it took me so long to type this chapter, I've been extremely busy with school work. BUT, now it is summer, so I have all the time in the world for writing! Not many notes to tell you, besides just be prepared for a few things that may be coming up in the fiction. (I have a lot of stuff planned out for further chapters!) One, that there may be random cute moments/romance as well as times of immense sorrow, I don't want to rush things **to** much in this fiction so I'll be setting up more of a trust between the two (Kurama and Botan). But don't worry! That doesn't mean the pace will be that of a turtles! Two, there WILL be some romance in this chapter. Not to much, but some.

One minor note: Haru yo Koi (from last chapter) literally means "Come, Spring!" If you were wondering, there you go!

Anyway. I must thank all of you who reviewed! I'm so lucky to have all of your support! Thank you, all of you! Yami and Ryoko, Cristina Gomez, Crimson Breeze, Punnamechibi, Every-heart-BoA , AngelaMichelle, Master Edge, Gaahina Chan, and -Steph-Chan-

Disclaimer: I do not own or intend to own Yu Yu Hakusho, nor any other companies I may, might have, or will mention in this story.

Now on to the story!

_thoughts _

**world/place/time**

"talking**"**

Without You

**_Chapter two: Realizing the unknown_**

"Botan…," Kurama began.

Botan blinked and looked up at him. "Yes?.."

Kurama gazed into her eyes. He sighed. "Lets go downstairs and have some tea." He said with a small smile, closing his eyes.

Botan blinked. "Okay, that would be nice!" She said with a grin. They walked down the stairs, Kurama in front of Botan.

"(Sigh) You have such a nice house, Kurama. You also have a wonderful family." Botan said, wistfully.

Kurama laughed. "All except for my brother, correct?" Botan laughed in return, as they walked into the kitchen.

"You're brother is sweet," Botan said, getting out two packets of tea while Kurama got the mugs. "He may be tiring," she passed him the packets, "with all his running around and hyper activeness, but he's very sweet. He…" she paused as her eyes softened, "…he reminds me of my little brother…." She trailed off, looking down with a small, sad, remembering smile.

Kurama stopped, setting the mugs down, and turning around. He looked at Botan, with surprise that wasn't shown on his face. She had never spoken of her life before being a ferry girl before. All he knew was that she had been working for Koenma for a long time.

Botan's eyes glazed over with the distance of her memory, thoughts long faded by the cold turning of the era. "He was Shuichi's age… when I last saw him…" She looked up at Kurama. "Did… I ever tell you about my… life… before being a ferry girl?" She asked. Kurama shook his head, still in shock.

Botan paused for a moment, as if in consideration. She had never told anyone about her life… only Koenma and her knew. Why did she want to tell Kurama this? _It's the feeling… that I always get when I'm around him…_

Kurama, recovering from the shock, smiled gently. "Would you like to tell me over tea?" He asked. Botan looked up and smiled. "Sure." She said. Kurama put the tea bags into the mugs, then put a kettle full of hot water onto the stove. He walked over to Botan and led her to the living room where they sat down.

She gazed down at the marbled coffee table in uncertainty. "I… don't really remember much…. But I'll tell you what I can remember." She said, hesitantly. Kurama's eyes softened and he nodded.

"Well… I guess it begins when I was born. I was born in Yorokobi, a village in Reikai. My parents lived with the ideas of peace and harmony. They were never violent people. When I was seven, my kasaan became pregnant with my little brother, Shotaru. I was so excited that I was going to have a sibling… There was a flower field by where I lived, and it was full of so many different kinds, like irises, daises, roses, lavender, and, peonies." Kurama blinked '_I wonder if that's her name sake…_'

"My brother was born. But then… when I was eleven, a war broke out in Reikai. Reikai against a group of Reikain bandits everyone called "Hakai", destruction. It reached my village, and men from every family, including my father were sent to fight. When he left, he told me to watch over my mother and brother. Then… he told me he'd return soon. That was the last thing I heard from him, ever.

"Two months later, after he left, I was returning home, and I saw the village, in flames. I ran to my home and…" She paused and her eyes dimmed. "my mother and brother were lying on the floor,… dead… I don't remember much about what happened after that, I think I passed out, but… I woke up, and I was lying in ashes. The entire area had burned down, and surrounding me was the entire village, lying dead. I…. all I remember is the sad, yet smiling face of someone…. And a hand being held out to me. Then it becomes black.

"When I woke up again, I was in a strange room in Koenma's palace. I asked him what had happened, and he told me that The Hakai had…killed everyone, in my village… then burned it down… Somehow I managed to survive. …When I finally realized I had no home to go to, Koenma offered me a home, at the palace. He then offered me the job of ferry girl. He said that I could train and someday be the chief pilot of the river Styx. …

"He said he saw in me potential for greatness, I had lived through something that would bring complete depression on someone else… and yet I could hold myself together, to a certain extent. He saw that I would be able to handle it. He had a feeling that I would be the right person for the job. …That leads me to where I am today." She said. With a sorrowful smile, she looked up at Kurama, who gazed at her with a sympathetic, but understanding smile. Sad, but not pitying. He would not lower the woman he loved to such a level. _'I merely wish she did not have to undertake all the experiences she has faced…'_ he thought solemnly.

"I suppose I just wanted to make sure that my parents were happy after they died. I wanted to understand what they went through after their horrible death. . . and I think I just wanted to find a way to change death, to make it not so horrible; I wanted to make sure that people would be happy, or at least not full of evil things such as fear, hatred, or sorrow. I wanted to stop those things in any way that I could… And that was were the goal to become a ferry girl came in. I accepted Koenma's offer. . . with a hope that I could conquer sorrow." She finished thoughtfully, staring off.

Kurama looked at Botan tenderly and he slowly, gently wrapped his arms around her.

Botan's eyes widened as she was snapped back to reality. She blinked, and then slowly her tense shoulders relaxed. Her eyes softened as she slowly embraced the red-haired man back, for a moment just happy to have someone to understand and to listen. It was nice; she was so used to people talking about themselves while she was on the receiving end. For the first time… she had shared her life with someone else. She had never done that before.

'_But why am I surprised? Around Kurama, I'm so relaxed… I know I can tell him anything…And he's always there for me, listening, understanding…_' She closed her eyes, resting her head on his shoulder.

Kurama's gentle smile grew slightly as he felt Botan rest her head on his shoulder. He inhaled her scent. _'Mmm...she smells nice… of sakura blossoms, and rain…'_ Suddenly his eyes shot open, _'That scent.. the same scent as the woman in my dream…But-'_ He was interrupted and the moment was broke as Botan sneezed.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Kurama!" Botan said, quickly backing away, looking down in embarrassment, her face scarlet. _'Why did I have to do that!' _She mentally berated herself._ 'Now he's going to be… _(pause)_ …wait… is he angry?'_ Botan looked up quickly, her sparkling amethyst eyes catching his deep emerald pools.

Kurama stared back at Botan, the shock of what he had started putting together wearing off and the thought being cast to the back of his mind… for now. He blinked and his eyes softened as he gently smiled at Botan. "No need for apologies Botan. You only sneezed, something I believe everyone does at some point." He said, his smile more of a teasing grin now.

"Yes, well,…" Botan trailed off, her blush returning. Of course Kurama wouldn't be angry. Kurama chuckled as he picked up his mug of tea, taking a sip. He looked out of the corner of his eye at Botan. "You might want to drink your tea before it gets cold." He commented, pushing her mug towards her.

Botan nodded and picked up the mug. Taking a mouthful she swallowed as her eyes widened. "Kurama, this tea is wonderful! What kind is it?" She asked, taking another drink of the liquid.

"It's an herbal tea, made from chamomile, orange, ginseng, and rosebuds. It's something I came up with during summer." He said, thoughtfully, remembering when he had created the drink. Botan's eyes widened in surprise.

"You made this?" She asked, blinking and looking into the tea. Kurama nodded. "Yes, I used to create different things from the herbs and plants I grew in my garden…. Tea among them." He finished.

Botan smiled. "That's really nice… I never met anyone who could make their own tea. There were a few people I ferried that said that they had similar hobbies, such as creating their own perfumes, but none that did that."

Kurama nodded. "It's an interesting process. It's not hard, as it would seem. All you must –" He was once again interrupted as the telephone rang. He sighed and stood up, walking gracefully over to the phone and answering it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kurama! It's me Keiko."

"Hello, Keiko. How are you?"

"I'm fine, I just wanted to talk to you about something."

Kurama nodded. "Proceed."

"Okay, well you know about the inter-school ball that your school and my school is having?"

"Yes…" Kurama said, pensively.

"Well we, as in Yusuke, Kuwabara, and I want you to go." Keiko said, smiling.

Kurama blinked. "But—" He was again, for the tenth time interrupted that evening as Yusuke grabbed the phone from Keiko.

"Hey, fox-boy! You need to get out more! Be more social! And don't you give me the excuse that you can't find a date! Ask one of the girls from your fan-club if you have to!" Kurama raised an eyebrow, sweatdropping. "You better come or else—" He was cut off as Keiko grabbed the phone back.

"Yusuke you jerk!" Kurama heard a slapping sound, then Keiko as she turned her attention back to the phone. "Sorry about that Kurama. Anyway, come! We're all meeting at my house at five on Saturday night so you better be there! Preferably with a girl! See you then!" She said, then hung up.

Kurama stared at the phone in his hand. _'That was… interesting…'_ He sighed as he put the phone down on the cradle and closed his eyes. "Kurama?" Came a light, melodic voice.

Kurama turned around to see Botan's concerned eyes. He smiled lightly and sat back down. "Who was that?" She asked curiously. He smiled as an idea formed in his mind.

"It was Keiko." He replied, slowly. His emerald orbs sparkling. "She was reminding me of a school event that is going to take place in the future."

Botan nodded, interested.

Kurama paused. "Botan?" He asked slowly. She looked up, her smile still on her face.

"Yes?"

Kurama paused. _'Why am I nervous? Botan is simply a friend and I'm presently asking her to come with me to a dance…_ "Would you care to accompany me to a ball?" His masculine voice asked.

Botan blinked, surprised. A light blush crept onto her cheeks as she realized what he was asking. Was he asking her out on a date? _'Of course, I wouldn't mind if he was…' _Botan thought before mentally shaking her head. There's those thoughts again!_ 'Kurama's just a… f-frien..d.. friend.' _It didn't feel right. That category. For some weird reason, she wanted to say he was more…

"Botan?" Kurama asked, interrupting her musings.

Botan looked up, startled as she realized that the blush on her face had deepened. "Oh! Sorry. O-Of course I'd like to g.. go with you Kurama! It sounds f-fun!" Dang that stuttering.

Kurama blinked as a handsome smile overcame his face. "Wonderful! It is a formal ball, similar to the European Gaijin ones in the eighteen hundreds. Do you still approve?" He asked. Botan blinked again. She could have sworn for a second he looked nervous again.

She smiled warmly. "Of course! It sounds great!" Her smile fell slightly as she thought of something. _'But… I'm not sure how to dance… it's been so long…'_

Kurama, noticing the slightly worried look that had come onto Botan's face, frowned. _'Maybe she does not really wish to come…?...'_ "Is something the matter?" He asked.

Botan looked up with a sheepish grin. "Well, it's just… it's been a long time since I've ever danced… I don't think I remember how." She said, sweatdropping. Kurama blinked, then sweatdropped. He smiled again.

"It's all right. I know how to, and I can help you." He said, softly. Botan's nerves faded and she smiled warmly. "Thank-you Kurama." She said. Kurama nodded. For a few moments, they just sat in silence. Then—

"BEEEP!" Botan jumped while Kurama stiffened, slightly startled. He looked around, then down at Botan's waist, where the sound had come from. Botan looked down, then blinked again.

"Sorry, it's just my communicator." She said, smiling awkwardly pulling out the compact device with another apology. She flipped open the screen.

"BOTAN!" Koenma's voice shouted. "Where have you been! I don't have nearly enough people here and I need you pronto" He yelled in his toddler form. Botan sweatdropped, her features looking annoyed.

"I'll be there in a moment, Koenma-sama." She said, flat-toned.

"Where were you anyway? You've been gone all day!" Koenma yelled.

"Helping Kurama baby-sit his brother…" Botan said, cautiously.

"Well that's fine and dandy but I need you here more! You should have been here, filing papers! Getting something done!"

Botan's eye twitched. "I'll be there in a little while Koenma-sama." She said, her tone obviously slightly irritated.

"Well hurry!" Koenma said, closing the connection. Botan closed her eyes, closing the compact. _'If I didn't work for him as his chief captain of the River Styx and head ferry-girl… sometimes I think I'd do something I'd later regret…'_

She looked over at Kurama. He raised an eyebrow. She sighed.

"I'm afraid I must leave… Koenma needs me back in Reikai." She said, sadly. Kurama's face looked slightly disappointed.

"That's all right. Are you still able to attend the ball with me?" He asked.

Botan nodded, smiling. "Of course." Kurama smiled back.

"Okay, then would you come to my house at 4:45 on Saturday? From there we'll go to Keiko's." He explained. Botan nodded once again. "Then it's set." Kurama replied, standing up along with Botan as she headed for the door.

When they walked outside, Botan turned and smiled at Kurama. "Well, thank-you for letting me stay at your house, and for breakfast." She said, bowing. Kurama smiled, bowing in return.

"It was my pleasure." He pulled a rose out of his hair and handed it to Botan. "Until Saturday?" He said, more then asked.

Botan blushed, taking the magenta rose and nodding. "Yes, until Saturday!" She replied.

Kurama smiled. "Then I'll see you then."

Botan nodded, mounting her oar. "Goodnight, Kurama. Tell Shuichi I said good-bye when he wakes up." Kurama nodded.

"I'll tell him." He said. Botan smiled.

"Goodnight, Botan." Kurama said. Botan nodded, then flew up into the night sky, holding onto the magenta rose with a tender grip.

Kurama watched until at last she was no longer in site, then walked back into the house with a sigh.

**Reikai/thirty minutes later**

Botan landed on the tiled ground of Reikai. Walking into the palace, she smiled down at the rose she held in her hands. _'What is this feeling that I'm getting? Do I…… l-love Kurama?...But…'_ She shook her head. Now was not the time to be thinking of that.

She sighed. Walking past a flurry of papers and ogres shouting at each other, she walked down a hall and into Koenma's office. He was in his teenager form, sitting in his chair, stamping papers.

She knocked on the door then entered, hiding the rose behind her back. She didn't want him to ask why she had the flower… because, quite truthfully, she wasn't sure of the answer herself. "I'm back Koenma-sama!" She said, perking up. She'd more then likely get in a lot of trouble if Koenma ever caught her being wistful and daydreaming. Koenma looked up from his papers, looking exhausted and grumpy. _'What's new.'_ Botan thought.

"Oh, Botan. It's about time. I need you to file these papers in the records room and then I need you to send these things to Ayame. After that you can go to bed." He said, yawning, and handing her a stack of files then another file, slightly smaller, that she was supposed to bring to Ayame.

"I'll get right on it Koenma-sama!" Botan said, bowing and walking back out, the rose still clutched in her hand.

Koenma watched her retreating form with a sigh. He had seen the rose when she reached out for the papers, and had noticed the light pink blush that was on her face. _'So Botan's finally falling in love with Kurama…. Oh well. I knew this would happen at some point or another.'_ He had always cared for Botan as if she were a younger sister. He had always felt a bit… protective of her. He didn't want her to face any more pain, and had always looked after her. Ever since he had found her, those many years ago in the pile of debris and broken wood and ash…

Koenma rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand as he yawned again. He was getting to old to do all this paperwork! "GEORGE!" He yelled, calling in the ogre.

"Yes Koenma sir?" George asked, the blue demon running in.

"Do this paperwork for me! I'm taking a nap!" The prince said, turning into his toddler form and walking away.

"But Koenma sir!" George said, whining.

"I SAID DO IT!" Koenma yelled, walking out.

"Oh brother.." George said, looking annoyed.

**Reikai, Botan's room**

Botan finished filling the small pink vase with water and placed the magenta rose in it. She smiled in a daydream-like sense. She couldn't believe that Kurama had asked her to attend the ball with him. She sighed wistfully, for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. She didn't quite understand these feelings.

'_But… it's just whenever I'm with him… It's so surreal, so much happiness I feel. Is this… l-love?...But... what if he doesn't feel the same for me?...'_ But somewhere in her mind she didn't quite think that was a possibility. At least, she hoped is wasn't. He was so kind, and sophisticated… always the gentleman and caring about others before himself…

Coming to a conclusion, Botan smiled to herself. _'I love Kurama..'_ She thought, blushing. Shaking her head, she looked over at the stack of papers Koenma gave her to file. "I better start working." She said to herself, picking them up and walking down the hall.

**Reikai, The records room, One hour later**

Botan closed the cabinet, with a "Phew!". I had taken the poor deity far to long to complete the task of filing 40 new demons. The records room, which was supposively alphabetically organized, was a MESS! Papers everywhere and files in all of the wrong places. _'And those stupid ogres had told me they cleaned it up…'_ She thought to herself, shaking her head.

Looking up at the clock she groaned. It was already one in the morning. Oh well. At least tomorrow was Friday. She could catch up on a bit of sleep then. Walking out of the room, she walked down a hallway and met Ayame. "Oh, good evening Botan-chan!" Ayame said, bowing to her friend.

Botan returned the gesture with cheerfulness. "Koenma-sama asked for me to give these to you." She said, handing Ayame the folders. Ayame took them and then looked back up and studied her friend. "You look like you're in a really good mood. What happened?" She asked, smiling. Botan smiled back, a small blush appearing.

"Oh, n-nothing really important…" She trailed off. Ayame shock her head, she new what it meant when Botan trailed off and stuttered, let alone blushed.

"Oh, so this wouldn't have anything to do with Kurama now would it?" She asked.

"W-what!" Botan asked, startled. Ayame laughed. She knew Botan liked Kurama. It was just something that she saw in her eyes whenever Kurama was helping out in Reikai. A certain sparkle in her eyes and new bounce to her walk whenever he was around.

"Well… yes… he asked me to go to a ball with him…." Botan said, looking away. Ayame's eyes widened.

"Really! That's wonderful! But… Botan-chan… you don't have a ball gown…" She said. "In fact, I don't think you own any dresses at all, for that matter." She said, pointedly. Botan's eyes widened.

"I hadn't even thought of that!" She said, shocked. "Oh no! What am I going to do then?" She wondered out loud. Ayame looked at her thoughtfully.

"We can ask Koenma for a few hours off tomorrow and go to the mall and pick you out a gown. What else."

Botan blinked, then smiled. "You'd help me pick one out Ayame-chan?" She asked, excitedly.

"Of course!"

"Okay, then tomorrow we can go!" Botan exclaimed happily, hugging Ayame, then saying a quick goodnight then walking to her room for a well-deserved night's sleep. Ayame smiled after the girl then finished up her task before heading to bed herself.

**Reikai/The next morning/Koenma's office**

Koenma looked down at his two best ferry girls thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose I could give you from now until two o'clock off. Just as long as you be back by then." He said, coming to his final decision, after much pleading from the girls.

"Yes!" Botan exclaimed, Ayame sighing with a smile. "Thank-you Koenma-sama!" They both said. Koenma nodded. After all, they were his best ferry girls, and worked hard enough to earn a break every now and then.

They both smiled before exiting and walking down the hall. They dressed in different, more normal apparel then walked outside, each one pulling out an oar.

"Ready?" Ayame asked Botan, rising a little in the air.

"Yep! Let's go!" Botan said, as they flew down to Ningenkai.

**Ningenkai/forty minutes later**

Botan and Ayame walked through the crowded hall, casually looking into any clothes stores they saw to see if they had anything similar to a gown. After fifteen minutes, Botan sighed. "Ayame-chan? I don't think we're getting anywhere with this. The mall is just to big! I'm not used to it!" Ayame nodded. Then looked around.

Spotting a lit-up map of the mall and it's stores, she grabbed Botan's hand, pulling her towards it. "Look, now we can just look for it on here." She pointed out. Botan nodded, smiling. "Good-eye, Ayame-chan!" She said.

They found a store called "Sophisticated Lady", and read that it made dresses for all formal occasions. "Should we go there?" Botan asked.

"Might as well, it sounds like they make the right type of dresses you might need." Ayame commented. They walked down the escalator to the first level and into the shop. Botan's eyes lit up.

"This is definitely the right shop!" She exclaimed, looking around. There were literally thousands of different types of gowns! Red, satiny ones, blue velvet ones, purple linens, pink sequins, etc.

Ayame's smile got bigger with excitement. "Well, lets not just stand her! Time to try on dresses, Botan!" She said, as she attacked the dresses with picky eyes only one who had a lot of experience with shopping would have.

Botan's mouth hung open as at least fifteen dresses flew into her arms. "Um… Ayame-chan?" She asked. Ayame stopped ravaging through some purple halters and looked up at Botan. "Yes?" She asked.

"Just out of curiosity… But do I have a say in this?"

"No!" Ayame said, giggling, then went back to the dresses.

'_Well that certainly answers my question.'_ Botan thought, then looking back at Ayame, sweatdropped. _'Exactly how much coffee did Ayame drink this morning?'_ She wondered. The usually calm, cool, and collected ferry-girl was very excited and energetic this morning, something not TO unusual for Botan to see, but then again not common if you only saw Ayame occasionally.

"Okay, now it's time for you to try them on!" Ayame said, pushing Botan into the changing room. Botan giggled. "Okay, hang on." She said, trying on the first dress. Walking out, Ayame pursed her lips.

It was a scarlet dress, strapless and tight, and flared out slightly. It reached just above Botan's knees. It had black lace, sewn into the hem of her dress. "I don't think this one is quite you. Maybe it's a bit to seductive for your sweet demeanor." Ayame commented. Botan nodded then went back in to try on a different one.

She came back out in a crème-colored gown this time. It was double sleeved, with spaghetti-straps holding the dress onto the deity and then loose, two inch sleeves falling off her shoulders. The body went to Botan's waist where it parted and showed a lighter white color and went right to her ankles. It was nice… but not quite what she was aiming for. Botan went back in to change again.

This time, when she came back out, Ayame's eyes lit up. This was the one. She was wearing a silver-blue dress this time. Spaghetti-strapped, it v-necked just slightly to reveal Botan's slender neck and collar-bones. It hugged her, showing off her slim curves, until it reached to her waist, then elegantly flowed out into a more bodied dress, the bottom length at her feet curving at different angles to give a mystical appearance. There were sapphire and silver roses sewn into the dress every now and then, just to add more detail and beauty. It also came with a silvery sash. The entire dress complimented the deity's complexion so much, Ayame knew that Botan had to have this one.

Botan smiled. "I like this one a lot. What do you think?" She asked. Ayame nodded. "This is definitely the one you're getting." Botan nodded, still smiling, then went back inside to change into normal clothes. Walking back out, with the dress in her hands, the ferry-girls went to pay for the dress then went back to Reikai.

'_I hope Kurama likes the gown I choose..'_ Botan thought to herself. She smiled. She couldn't wait.

**Chapter Three end! nn**

Okay, once again, I'm so very sorry for the long wait! But I PROMISE, that I will be updating a lot more sooner now! Please click the little lavender button and send me a review and I'll get up the next chapter soon! The ball's coming up, and we'll get to see a certain kitsune's reaction to a certain deity!

_Meiko_


	4. continuation! want it?

Without You

(intercalary author note thing)

Hello everyone! Meiko here, and ready to hop back onto the updating train.

I feel very inspired to write the rest of Without You, but I need to know this:

Does anyone actually want me to update it? I'd love to write it; I can promise regular updates (unlike the rest of my works), and I'll make them good quality, but the thing about it is I'm not going to put in the effort if nobody reads them.

So! Here's what's happening:

If you want me to rejuvenate this baby, (laymen's terms, start the story up again), then drop me a review saying so.

If you don't, then don't. Simple, nan desu?

Kay, so get reviewing!!!!!

Meiko


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